Two
Couples Struggle In Marriage;
One Marriage Ends,
The Other Marriage Thrives.
The Difference Is In The Action They Take!
Which
Couple Will You Be?
Dear
Friend;
Almost
50% of all marriages end in
divorce. But 100% of marriages have
difficulties. Many people think it is
simply a coin-toss on whether a marriage
succeeds or fails. They are
wrong. You CAN make the
difference! Success or failure is in
your hands.
In
October and November, we hosted
the Online Marriage Workshop. There
are no plans to repeat the event. But I
had many requests to attend, but we couldn't
handle any more participants. And I have
had many, many requests for the transforming
information from the workshop.
We
have decided to offer all the information
included in the workshop for those who were
unable to attend, and at a fraction of the
cost for those who could not afford to attend.
Now
I know that some of you have already decided
this is for you (some of you have already
told me so). If that is the case for you,
just skip
to the bottom and register. All
others, keep reading!
I
just received this
letter and wanted to
share it with you
(with the permission
of the writer):
"Dr.
Baucom,
I just want to thank
you for your book,
"Save The
Marriage". While
it did not save my
marriage (we should
have everything
signed off in a
couple of days), it
still helped me find
wisdom and
comfort. I
never plan to
re-marry but I hope
to have some
meaningful
relationships in the
future. What I
discovered in your
book will stay with
me and will
hopefully lead to a
better understanding
of relationships.
The fact that my
marriage didn't last
is not a failure on
your part but rather
on mine for waiting
so long until I
asked for
help. Perhaps
it is similar to
someone who has
chest pains and
fails to activate
the EMS in
time. Sometimes
a sense of urgency
is the missing facet
in success.
Again, I appreciate
your effort and
sound advice, which
I have shared with
others who are
striving to keep
their marriage
together.
Respectfully,
Raymond E. Wakefield"
The
reason I share it is
because of Raymond's
powerful analogy --
he waited too long
to take
action! Every
day, I have people
in my office, and I
think to myself "why
didn't they do
something earlier,
when it would have
been easier to
change, fix, heal,
and transform?"
Marriage
can be tough! Two people, joined
together, but sometimes feeling like
enemies. Sometimes, couples find
themselves continually hurting each other,
miss each other's needs, and leave each other
angry, resentful, tired, empty, exhausted, and
unfulfilled.
Study
after study is showing the damaging effects of
stress. And nowhere is there more stress
than in an unhappy marriage! We stand in
front of family and friends and make a promise
to stay together. Some people decide to
break that promise. Others struggle
through.
In
the end, there are really three
options: 1.) Leaving things as they
are, suffering through (continued
unhappiness). 2.) Give up and move
on (separation and divorce). Or
3.) Discover the secret of transforming
your relationship! Neither 1.) nor 2.)
are good options.
Instead,
the only real option is 3.), transforming
your marriage! But
without the proper tools and understandings,
transforming your marriage is
difficult. How many times have you tried
to make things different? How many books
have you read, discussions have you had,
thoughts and prayers you've entertained, all
aimed at changing the relationship?
"So,
What Can I Do?"
A
marriage can be restored, developed, nurtured,
and transformed! I tell you that as
someone who sees the "miracles" on a daily
basis. Note that I put miracles in
quotations. Miracles are thought to come
out of the blue. But in the cases I see,
it is because one, the other, or both decide
to do something about it. In other words,
the miracle happens because action is taken.
There
is a myth that it takes hard work to transform
a marriage. I don't believe that. It
takes effort. It takes a change in
thinking and perspective. It takes a
willingness to try something new. Mostly,
it takes a belief that things can
change. It doesn't take an overwhelming
belief. Just some small part that says
"Things have to change. Things can
change. I will participate in it."
That
is the opportunity you have, right
now. It is an opportunity you have to be
transformational in your life, in your
marriage.
Here's
a little story about me: I have always,
for as long as I remember, wanted to Scuba
dive. For a long time, it was not
practical. In college, I couldn't afford
it. Then came graduate school (still
couldn't afford it, and didn't have any time
if I could have). Then I was a father,
and no time.
Years
passed, and I still wanted to do it, but never
took the time or chance. Then, several
years back, I had a potentially
life-threatening illness. Let me tell
you. . . that will change your
perspective! I started doing things I had
long wanted to do, but hadn't.
Then,
my wife encouraged me to get certified for
diving. I came up with every
excuse: "not enough time," "not enough
money," "too many other things to
do." But, I also realized it was
something I wanted to do. It took 5
Sunday afternoons, and a trip to Florida, but
I got certified! And I found it met all
of my expectations (exceeded them, in
fact). Now, I am working toward being
an instructor! All because I took a
chance.
Is
that you? Have you always wanted to do
something (or maybe even tried some things) to
improve your marriage, but to no
avail? Do you find yourself with plenty
of excuses, but still dreaming of something
different?
You
could take the risk, and discover that the
marriage you want is available to you, right
now and with your current spouse. It will
take some effort, and it will mean taking a
risk. But, as someone who has had his
life threatened, take it from me, the risk is
much smaller than you imagine!
The
next month is going to pass, one way or
another. At the end of it, will you be
able to say "I made a difference in my life,
the life of my spouse, and the life of my
family"? Or will the month simply pass
with the same dreams and regrets?
Even
if you are at the end of your rope, ready to
give up, isn't it worth one more
shot? One more guided effort, one with
direction and assistance?
People
often find themselves in situations where they
have learned to survive, to get by. Not
happy, but getting by. That is not
enough. You can learn to thrive.
How
This Workshop Came To Be
I
have to tell you a story. You see, I've
been working to save marriages for over 18
years. A few years back, I began to put
together my ideas, which led to an ebook, Save
The Marriage. I kept thinking, "there has
to be more that I can do." So, I added a
Quick-Start Guide To Saving Your
Marriage. Now, some 49,155 ebooks later,
I still felt like there had to be a way to be
more helpful. I offered
coaching, but I only have so many hours in a
day.
Then,
just a couple of months ago, it hit
me: "why not do a marriage
workshop? Or a marriage
retreat?" But I kept coming up with the
major problems people give for not going to
such things: too far away, too much time
involved, too much money involved. I kept
thinking. . . . Now, here I was at the
beach, looking out at the Intracoastal
Waterway (actually showering off after a beach
run), and it
hit me! Why not host an Online Marriage
Retreat/Workshop?
I
came back home from vacation, and started
putting some wheels on the idea. I
realized that I had the perfect solution for
helping your marriage! It was a
"no-brainer" for me. You can be anywhere
in the world and take part. You don't
have to disrupt your life, find babysitters,
someone to feed the dog, etc.
And
it wouldn't even take some special
technology. You are using the only
technology you need right now: a computer
with an internet connection (and the free
program, Adobe Acrobat, which is likely
already on your computer).
In
fact, I was amazed on how that workshop came
together. It was a great experience where
participants were on the phone or through the
internet for workshops, then worked on
homework provided to all participants. We
covered material that was not covered anywhere
else.
And
participants ended up being from a multitude
of backgrounds (some even spoke English as a
second language). Relationships ranged
from "doing OK" to "just short of divorce"
(and even a couple whe were divorced, but
wanted to reconcile).
One
month later, all had completed the workshop,
and I was hearing about the
transformations. I knew I had to find a
way of providing the information to
others. But my time commitments prevent
me from repeating the workshop.
So,
my next process was thinking about how to
provide the information. Then it struck
me. The way we had set up the workshop
meant I could do it with NO PROBLEM for you,
and with less involvement on my
behalf. It was truly a WIN-WIN
arrangement. You receive the information
you desperately need, and I can manage my
resources better.
Then
I realized, by doing this, you have full
control over the workshop, how you use it, and
when it takes place. You are in the
"driver's seat" of how you use this
workshop! Keep reading to find out how.
A
Personal Greeting From Lee
Baucom
I
have been using the information, techniques,
and ideas for years. Here is what others
have said about my work and ebook: (Click
Here To Skip Comments)
Just
A Handful Of
Recent Comments:
I
love it so far, I am
still reading it do
to work, but it is
something I cannot
put down.PattyAnne
work in progress, 10
months and
counting...knowlage
is a wonderful tool.
Rick Bartlett
The book is great,
practical, easy to
read. I found that
it gives good
insight into
dynamics of a
relationship when it
is functional.
Irene Ramos
Save The Marriage
was very helpful.
The essence of it
is: you make active
loving choices and
you
get rewarded by the
same from your
partner. It worked
very well for me!
E.S.
I found the ebook
very rewarding and
helpful, its pretty
much stuff we all
know but tend to
forget alot.. a very
precise accurate
read!
L. G.
After 34 years of,
what I thought, a
happy marriage I
found out that my
husband was having
an affair and had
been for three
years, I was
devastated, I
thought I could
never get over this,
never mind come to
terms with it, but
with the help of
your e.book I have
turned my
life around, my
husband is no longer
having an affair and
he is now so loving
toward me, even more
so than
before, I have
learned to take
responsibility for
my own happiness and
not to depend on
others for
it. I am at
peace with myself,
thank you and God
bless you.
Norah
I found the e-book
was exactly what I
needed. Unfortunatly
I found the site too
late for it to save
my last relationship
(ended over 18
months
ago). When I
advised Lee it was
too late, he
promptly gave me a
refund. I
applied the
information and
ideas I learned
toward my 3 months
new relationship and
so far it is going
very well.
Christopher
By reading the ebook
'Save the Marriage'
first my marriage
has been
saved. Second,
We have learned to
not get angry every
time someone has a
bad day.
Laurie Barthel
It was a wonderful
ebook, I really felt
like I had spoken to
the author as he
really made me feel
like it was just
aimed at me. I
know that many
people experience
difficulties from
time to time
but this just made
me realise how many
and how lucky I am
to have my husband
and
family. They
deserve looking
after and the book
helped me to put
life and family into
perspective and just
relax.
Nicola Clark
The techniques were
eye opening view on
the dynamics of
spousal interaction
that can't be seen
from the inside of a
problem marriage.
Mike M
When I ordered the
Save the Marriage
ebook, my husband
and I each knew we
were facing some
problems, but
neither of us had
brought it up to
the other. When
I told him that I
had ordered it, I
was afraid he'd be
upset, but he
actually was
relieved! I
printed it out, one
chapter at a time,
and each night after
we put the kids to
bed, we read that
chapter together and
discussed
it. I'm happy
to report that we
are doing very well
now and I look
forward to going
over the 5 Myths of
Marriage with him!
Courtney Fairchild
Your book made me
open my eyes to how
I have been feeling
these past 20 yrs of
my marriage and
realize how I
have been harboring
resentments. How
these resentments
have affected my
relationship, but
more importantly HOW
to let go of them.
Ann Lord
Helped me realize we
are two separate
people with
different feelings
and wants but with
the same goals of a
loving marriage and
home and it is those
goals that make us
one.
Christine Deters
I read the e-book
Save the Marriage
and it
helped me with
some of the power
struggle issues that
we had. We are
getting along now
much better,
although
we are still
separated. I don't
know if I
should hang in there
or if it's time to
move on. I know
she's been dating,
but my daughter
cries sometimes and
says that she wishes
that we all
lived together
again. The e-book
was definitely
helpful though. It
made me a better
person. I've given
up on the struggle
for power and
left my old jealous
self by the
wayside. Thanks,
I still have
hope!
Don in Toronto
Thank you Sir. I
found you book
extremely useful in
evaluating and
analyzing
my own performance
and behaviour in my
marriage. Reading it
together with my
wife provided many a
talking point and
funnily enough she
and I picked very
different issues as
the 'most
interesting' or
'most important'
which only goes to
show how differently
we looked at our
relationship. We are
still struggling
like hell but I keep
going back to your
book for inspiration
and to keep myself
in check (and to
kick myself in the
butt). I can
definitely recommend
this book to anyone
in our
situation.
Christian,
Copenhagen
Although I did not
read the book form
'cover to cover',
The visual image of
the sailboat where
each adjustment on
one side required an
adjustment on the
other helped me
realize that if I
did not address the
things I did not
like by changing MY
behavior, nothing
would change. Then I
acted on that, and
things are changing!
Claudia
The biggest lesson I
learned is to just
be myself and step
back. I don't
need all the answers
right now and
discovering areas
about myself that
need work
has been very
insightful. I
am eager to move on
to being the best
person I can
be. If this new
confidence is
attractive to my
spouse,
great. If not,
so be it. I
will still be able
to go on in my life
with renewed
confidence and self
esteem.
Barbara Durfee
Matter of fact
advice, focus on the
facts and the
reality, not the
hopes and dreams
that surface during
this type of
difficulty.
darcy golubovic
The day my husband
said he wasn't sure
if he wanted to stay
married, was
by far one of the
worst days I had
experienced. I
turned to an old
friend who had
always been a
mentor/counselor of
sorts for marriage
advice who
recommended a
website that lead me
to Save the
Marriage. I
purchased the book
that day and from
the first page began
to discover how my
actions (including
lack of action) had
contributed to the
current state of my
marriage. I know
that marrige is
50-50 so please
don't think I took
all the
responsibility. Its
just that you think
you're in the clear
until a new
perspective
comes along to open
your eyes. Save
the Marriage not
only offered
excellent techniques
for communicating
with my husband, but
taught me things
about myself that
have helped me
improve who I am and
what I bring to the
relationship. I know
with 100% certainty
that without Save
the Marriage, I
would have made the
classic mistakes
listed in the book
and more that likely
not be married to
the wonderful man
that I love so
dearly. There is
risk in everything,
and purchasing this
book was well worth
it.
Jessica
I
find the advice
extremely readable
and even somewhat
entertaining even
though dealing with
delicate issues. I
highly recommend it.
Andre Setton
I have learned some
very valuable
lessons. It
might be too late
for my current
marriage (I hope
not), but I know
that if I get
married a second
time I'll be better
equiped to make it
my last.
Kyle
Most Important
Part: Talking
about 'WE' insted of
'I'
Olga Tinschert
I like you can down
load info right
away.
Katy
The Save
the Marriage online
program was great in
that it was a
wonderful resource
to use without the
stigma attached to
traditional
'therapy'. Also,
in going through the
steps you could move
as slowly or quickly
as your personal
problems
required. It is
a 'safe' way to
explore the dynamics
of your marriage.
Kay
I purchased Save The
Marriage e-book a
few months ago when
my marriage had hit
rock bottom. I was
hesitant to share
the book with my
husband but he was
very open and we've
been reading it
together
and talking about
how it is relavent
to our marriage. It
really has been
bringing insights
that we never saw
before and I look
forward to us
continuing it
together!
julie
When you need help;
you need help and
this site gives you
that from enough
angles to really
grab your attention.
Graham Hk
There is no question
the book saved
us. I had
to look when I
purchased your book.
It was about
11/26/2003. That, in
itself adds a little
to my thank
you! I am
married, with two
just
teenagers. I thought
I was happily
married until my
wife said she was
unhappy and in a few
instances said she
wanted a divorce. I
realized there were
problems but didn't
know what they were
or how to fix them.
I searched and at
that time found your
book. Your book
attracted me because
rather than try to
figure out how to
fix the many
individual little
items I (we) were
doing wrong, I knew
the way we act
always influences
others and has a
tendency to correct
things you may not
be aware that we are
doing. The
significance
of the date I bought
the book is simple.
In that December I
felt very
uncomfortable with
my wife's need to
have me get out of
the house on certain
days. It didn't
click in until one
day she was very
anxious. I felt
something was
extremely wrong. I
had never been
jealous, never
thought my wife
thought of other men
until that day. I
planted a video
recorder and
discovered she was
in the initial
stages of venturing
outside of our
relationship. Her
planned events never
happened as I
confronted her and
the other
person.
I had fallen in love
with my wife again
in October of this
same year. A great
job change in late
May had made me
happier than I had
been in a long time.
So I was well on my
way to changing
myself and how I
act, using your
book, when my
discovery came to
light. That
experience was
nothing less than
earth shattering to
me. The
confrontations and
the five near
divorces consumed a
little over a year
of our
lives. Trust
was destroyed and we
did not know what
the future brought.
'Only
time will tell.' I,
however, made the
conscious decision,
at that
time, that I
would / will change
(and continue to do
so) regardless of
what happened. Your
book was a
life-changing
experience for me. I
look back today at
different intervals
of that year + and
think to myself that
I cannot believe how
it was possible to
weather that storm.
Then, today, while
searching on line
for some romantic
things to do, I
again came upon your
book. I asked myself
if, today, I feel
comfortable enough
to write this note
that, in my heart, I
would be able to do
someday.
There has been a
tremendous change in
both of us as a
result of your book.
Friends and
relatives notice how
we act toward each
other and we even
witnessed a couple,
who normally would
argue in front of
us, change how they
interacted. I can,
today, truly say
that you changed our
lives and saved our
marriage, when to
anyone who knew the
facts, would have
said it was
impossible. I am
simply taking a
moment 'to smell the
roses' and thank you
for your ability
to take a
complicated, almost
impossible
situations and with
simple application
(and time) change
almost
anything. I
do also want to
share with you what
we discovered in
this process and
what was a major
source of all our
problems. Somewhere
after having our
first or second
child my wife lost
her total desire to
have sex. I did not
know this. 'She put
up with
it.' She
thought it had to do
with me and I
thought she didn't
care, etc., and the
pulling apart
process started some
time ago. My wife
was always my best
friend but she was
never (confirmed by
her mom) very good
at verbalizing what
bothered her, even
when being asked
point blank 'what's
bothering you?' She
felt I was not
listening and
started confiding in
others. The rest is
history. The point
here is that her
loss of libido, in
combination with
other things, almost
destroyed our
marriage, and
neither of us knew
it was happening or
why. We are finding
our way through this
but this, like many
other things, is a
work in
progress. She
has
to take a lot of
medicines for
Arthritis, etc. and
very unwilling to
add to the daily
intake. So resolving
this and improving
the libido issue is
delicate at best. I
have gotten some
books but this is
something that is
impossible to change
all by myself. The
kids are at camp now
and we are having a
great time. I don't
want to muddy that
experience but will
sometime have to
chat more with her
about it. I don't
know how to approach
this except gingerly
and approach is from
the 'we'
side. I
am sorry it
took so long to
write but it this is
a very important day
because I feel that
I am able to write
this
note! Thank you
so much for helping
us and keeping our
family together as
well.
Best
regards, John
Save the Marriage
has offered a new
perspective to old
problems. My
husband and I have
fought and worked on
our marriage since
our honeymoon 19
years ago and this
coaching has changed
the nature of the
fights and the
outcome.
Ellen
An ideal gift for
every couple whether
newly married or
otherwise.
Sathyamoorthy
My marriage was
taking a turn for
the worse and my
husband was too
embarrased and proud
to go for
counseling. We'd
been together for 11
years at that point
and married for 2.
We have 2 small
children and our
busy lives were
taking us away from
each other. I
thought, if only I
could fix it, just
change something,
we'd be ok. So I
came across your
'Save the marriage'
ebook and purchased
it. I figured, I'll
do what the book
says and pray that
it works. Little did
I know my husband,
without me knowing,
was reading the
ebook when I wasn't
around and
implementing the
same tools on his
side. We made it
through another
year, and though we
have our ups and
downs, we still have
each
other. The
ebook really helped.
Seeing us as 'we'
and not a 'you and
me' really helped my
husband. And just
taking the time to
listen to him, with
interest in what he
had to say, like I
did when we first
got together,
rekindled a lot for
us. My like isn't
more important than
his and what
I have to say isn't
more important than
what he does. Just
this little change
on my part brought
us closer together
by leaps and
bounds.
There were a lot
more things we
gathered from the
ebook, but they've
become part of our
everyday thinking
that I can't really
remember them.
:) Thank
you for your tips
and tools. They
really helped.
Shandra Rivera
The book was
excellent for
providing ideas and
strategies for most
marriage problems.
Wes Brown
A refreshing
perspective
on communication in
marriage. This
method really makes
a difference.
Erika Royal
I really enjoy the
format of save the
marriage. It
provides a simple
guide to building
and establishing
'understanding'
communication. It
is one of my models
I adhere to when
counseling couples.
Pastor Seon Thompson
I have been able to
understand the areas
that were plaguing
our marriage. I
took for granted the
simple things and
used the Save The
Marriage e-book to
sort of open my
eyes. It
did lead me to a
couple of
counselling sessions
on my own that were
truly beneficial to
my emotional
well-being.
Stephen
It opened my eyes to
things I didn't
consciously know I
was doing to hurt my
marriage.
Tami Saleska
Although my marriage
is not 'fixed' it is
not hopeless
either. Save
the Marriage has
some excellent ideas
that help you 'keep
off the boxing
gloves' when it
is so easy to fight
back and then all
could be lost.
Bev
Save the Marriage
was so helpful to
me. My
marriage was on the
verge of divorce but
after reading your
ebook it gave me
hope and confidence
that my marriage can
be save. We are
still working on
things but it has
been great the last
few months and I
thank you.
Kerlley Aime
It helped us focus
on the two of us as
a couple rather than
as individuals. Just
sitting down every
night to discuss
what we read enable
us to spend more
time helping each
other find out what
was important to us
rather than
dissecting what was
wrong with our
relationship
individually.
Staci Smith
just thanks.
Cami Howlett
Your e-book saved my
marriage and my
life. I wasn't
seeing my part in
the situation, just
his. Reading
your e-book gave me
the techniques to
change the way I was
looking at
things. It also
changed the way my
husband was treating
me. He saw the
change in me, and
started treating me
differently. It
was still hard work
but worth every
minute. Now we
have a great
marriage. I
appreciate him for
his differences
rather than wishing
all the time he was
different. I
tell him I love him
for those
differences all the
time now. I
have truly become
his number one
support person and
he is mine
again. Thanks
so much.
Tall one in Ohio
Save the Marriage
have taught me a lot
about how to diffuse
situations that are
quite silly
sometimes but are
potentially deadly
to a marriage. It
has also taught me
how to be more in
tune with myself and
my reactions. This
is vital in any
marriage.
D.J. SVG
I
learned that my
relationship was
very unbalanced. I
realized that
although it's not
all about me, my
needs are of equal
importance and
should be respected
by my partner.
Lydia
I thought my
marriage was over.
When I read Save The
Marriage I saw that
it really was not
over at all. We
managed to get
through the hurt and
are still married
and healing nicely.
Audrey
At 17 years of
marriage we
seperated. we didn't
really want a
divorce, but we knew
something wasn't
right with us. it
took 8 months
for us to come back
together and in that
time after reading
your book, we
learned that we had
let life interfere
with how we talked
to each other. we
taked 'at' each
other without really
listening to what
was being said. we
had to allow
ourselves time to
come to grips with
the knowledge that
we weren't the
perfect couple we
thought we were and
even though we knew
'you can't read each
others minds', we
had somehow let that
slip and allowed
hurts to billed up,
all the while
wondering how the
other couldn't tell
something was wrong.
we learned to listen
to each other again
and make sure that
the other knows
he/she is as
important now as the
day we married.
kat
I read the e-book, I
like the fact that
they stress that in
after the affair,
both parties must
relalize that the
affair was a two
fold problem, that
the affair may shed
light on issues that
have needed
attention to correct
problems in the
marriage and both
parties are
responsible for it
happening, not
equally but
accountable.
suzy soley
I am
truly surprised
about the interest
you have shown in
helping to help me
get my marriage on
track. Thanks!
Gayle Davis
These ideas and
techniqes have help
in the way of me
being a young
married woman and
never having good
mother and father
relationship to look
back on to develop
techniqes I needed
to keep my marriage
a live. In the world
now days the first
thing everyone says
is forget about it
and move on. This
book helps and show
you how to fight for
your marriage when
nothing else
will. Thank
you,
Leslie Hanmer
I am a Domestic
Violence counselor
and foud the e-book
helpful to use in
the process of
therapy as women who
have been
disempowered to
begin to think about
what they need, want
and deserve in a new
healthy
relationship.
Deborah
Your program has
taught me to look at
marriage in a
different way. I had
unnattainable
expectations for my
poor husband and I
now know that he
can't be a mind
reader, or the one
to make me happy.
That is my job to
make myself happy,
he just gets
to share this with
me. Thanks!
Michelle
I have been through
your ebook once in
it's
entirety. I
study and apply what
you have talked
about, and see some
chnage
already. I just
have to keep with it
and make sure my
husband does
too. Where he
was totally
sceptical at first,
I think without
realizing it, he too
is applying some of
the
data. Thanks!
Kayle
I was so thrilled to
find something like
this on the
Internet. It is
filled with good,
common sense. Eat
your heart out
Dr Phil!
Kath Newman
It gave me more
insight on how to
begin communicating
with my husband
again. Great!
maria
The e-book was
really thought
provoking. When
I read it for the
first time I really
didn't know how to
move on from the
situation we had
gotten into. It
made me realise that
the problems we were
having could be
solved. In 2
years we've gone
from being on the
brink of breaking up
to closer than
ever. Not only
did it make me look
at my marriage from
a different
perspective - it
changed the way I
interacted with
everyone around me.
My husband, my 2
children and myself
are calmer,more
confident and
happier than
ever. Life is
good again!!!
Kay H
Provided a lot of
insightful
information and gave
me a different
outlook and new hope
for our marriage.
Ramona Thomas
Some of the benefits
i've gotten from the
e-book are tools
that have tought me
how to make sure
that I am completely
comfortable with my
self and what's
important to me and
that I'm not
out of place asking
for what I need.
Alisa
Your articles have
been very
insightful. It
makes me step back
and look at things
from a perspective
that I hardly ever
see at all.
She
Why
You SHOULD NOT Register
This
course is not for everyone. There are
some people who should NOT involve themselves
in this program. If this is you, please
move on to other resources:
First,
if you have already decided to divorce, and
this is just to make your spouse or yourself
feel better, this program is not for
you. You will make no progress, and you
will only end up having to live a lie, one
of my "no-no's." If you are thinking
about divorce, but are undecided, this
program IS DEFINITELY for you. If
divorce is not an option, but something has
to change, this program IS DEFINITELY for
you. If
you have an OK marriage, but it is not quite
what you want it to be, this program IS
DEFINITELY for you. If you have a good
marriage, but want to make it great, this
program IS DEFINITELY for you. If you
have a great marriage, but want to keep it
up, this program IS DEFINITELY for you.
Second,
if you are looking for a "no effort
shortcut" to marital bliss, this is not for
you. In fact, that doesn't
exist. Minimal effort is usually what
got people into trouble in the first
place. Notice, I did not say "work" but
"effort." I hear people saying they
need to work on their
relationship. Boy, is work a dull
proposition. It usually means no
imagination and no fun. This
process will not be work, but it will take
effort. If you are not ready to make an
effort, this program is not for you.
In
addition to the note above about having
already decided to divorce, if you are
involved in an affair that you are unwilling
to end, this program is NOT for
you. You are needing to make a choice
and make a change. If, however, you or
your spouse has had an affair, and you are
wanting to heal and reclaim your marriage,
this program IS DEFINITELY for you.
Finally,
if you are unwilling to take responsibility
for your marriage and its future, this
program is not for you. Taking
responsibility is different than accepting
blame or fault. Blame and fault-finding
are about what has
happened. Responsibility is about where
you are going.
What's
Included In The Program
There
are several key components to this
program. Each multiplies the effect of
the other. So, let's take a look at each
one.
First,
I have identified 8 rubrics of
transforming a marriage. The
rubrics build on themselves, and reinforce
each other. In order to cover the
rubrics, you will attend 8 teleclasses. Each
teleclass will give you the ideas and
information to apply each rubric to your
marriage. The teleclasses last about an
hour each, giving you 8 full hours of content
to absorb at your leisure
Since
these teleclasses were recorded as mp3's, you
have several options on how you will
listen. You can listen on the computer,
or you can download them to your mp3 player
(including iPod's), or you can burn a CD, and
take them in the car with you. You have
full flexibility. These are the actual
recordings of the phone calls, so you won't be
listening to some "mastered in the studio"
audio. You will get the
powerful information.
Second,
to reinforce what you learn in the teleclass,
you can practice with daily homework. You
can print off the email, and get started on
the homework. Print it twice, and both of
you have your own copy to work on. This
homework has been "battle-tested," and has
proven to be invaluable in helping people to
transform their relationships. Now, it
isn't like school, so no grades are given, and
you can choose when or even if you will do
it. But you can expect it to take
anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour per day,
depending on how much you decide to invest.
Third,
in order to pull those two things together,
there are 5Question & Answer
sessions from questions posed by
participants in the original
workshop. These sessions clarify points
made in the teleclass or in the homework, but
where people still had questions. In
other words, the participants probably already
had the questions you will have, and have
already asked them. The answers are in
these sessions.
Finally,
there is a Forum for members to
use. You can ask questions of me, of
each other, tell your story, and tell
everyone what tricks you have learned in
helping your marriage. Even couples
with troubles will have lots of good
information and help to share with
others. The forum provides a place for
that. Better than that, we are
all in this together. Your struggles
become our struggles. We
will share in your victories! Learning
happens better in a community, so the
forum provides a place for community.
The
Forum is also the center of the
course. All elements of the course are
saved there. You access all homework, all
recordings, and all other information at the
Forum. If you choose to post or not, that
is up to you, but the Forum will provide all
the information 24 hours a day, 7 days a
week. In fact, I have a simple message
that walks you through the course. You
just click my hyperlinks, and through
the course you go!
Included
is a bonus teleclass: a Lone-Ranger
Teleclass for those working through the
workshop alone. If this applies to you,
this will help you apply the material alone
and make a change in your marriage.
Now,
here's the magic of how we are doing
this: we have recorded all
teleclasses into a digital format (mp3)
that can be played on your computer or
downloaded to your mp3 player or
iPod. So, you can listen whenevedr it is
convenient. If you didn't catch
everything, you can just listen again
later. The homework is always available
to you, so if you can't keep up, it will still
be there. In fact, I think
there will be some people who will collect the
recordings, save the homework, and do the
whole course when it is convenient for
them. That's great! Suddenly, even
time is irrelevant! In the TiVo world,
this is called "Time-Shifting."You
are not a slave to my schedule or any
other schedule. You can create your
own timing.
Originally,
we designed the workshop to take 30
days. But now you can do it in one week,
2 weeks, a month, 6 weeks, 6 months,
whatever! You have control over your pace
and your intensity. If you get fired up,
you can charge ahead. If things get
hectic, you can slow down. It is all in
your hands. I provide the tools, you
choose how and when you will use them.
What
You Will Learn
This
course is designed not to be just a
"fix." It is designed to transform your
marriage. This is not about
"psychobabble," or even being
"touchy-feely." It is about giving you
the tools and techniques to transform your
marriage.
So,
we won't be going on an "archaeology dig" of
past hurts and pains. I think that gets
too many couples bogged down and unable to
move forward. In fact, that is my primary
concern with marital therapy. You may go
to an appointment in a good mood, but after an
hour of thinking about all the hurts, you
leave mad at each other. Then you are
supposed to go work it out!
That
is why the statistics on marital therapy are
so dismal. Over 50% of couples who go to
therapy end up divorced, and only 20% report
any significant improvement. Imagine
going to a doctor who tells you he wants to
perform a procedure on you. The mortality
rate is over 50%, and only 20% of people
experience any improvement in the
problem. Would you take those odds?
There
are some advantages to building, versus
digging:
We avoid low-mood therapy, and work from
high-mood perspectives.
This
makes the process a far less intimidating
prospect for those who are less willing to
be involved in the process. No
"navel-gazing," no "how do you feel about
that?" approaches. Just simple actions
building toward amazing results.
The
process is, therefore, more acceptable to
men in particular. Let's face it: lots of
men are dragged into therapy, and then made
to feel incompetent in the emotional arena
or ganged-up on. (Not good for keeping a
couple in therapy.)
A
couple's past becomes less important. What
really matters is where the couple wants to
move toward.
Insights
about the past don't often make the leap to
changes in the present/future. But gaining
knowledge, skills, and understanding does
change our actions/reactions, and direction
of a marriage.
So,
we are not going to make the mistakes of
therapy. We are about building, not
digging. That is why we will be working
with my 8 Rubrics of Marriage:
Paradigms,
Perceptions, and Mindsets. This
is foundational. How you view each
other and how you change that view are the
beginnings of change. I'll show you
how. I'll give you a new model that
will help you understand your mate.
Commitment. When
you got married, what did you sign up
for? Learn about the hidden commitments
you made, and how can you use this to
literally save your marriage.
Meeting
Needs. Marriages
begin a downward spiral when we forget our
own needs, and forget to meet the needs of
our spouse. Claim your own needs, and
learn how to discover your spouse's needs.
Being
A Team. Why
is it that the one person we should see as
our ally begins to be seen as the
enemy? More importantly, we will look
at how to become a team, and how this is
transformational to a marriage.
Identifying
And Breaking Patterns. We
all get into ruts. Usually, they sneak
up behind us, and before you know it, we are
deeply entrenched, and don't know how to get
out. I'll help you identify the
destructive patterns and help you to change
them.
Communication. Notice
how far along we are. This is the 6th
rubric. Most put this as the
first. I disagree. Communication
is important, but only after the other 5
rubrics are secure. I'll help you
understand communication in a different way,
and you will see why it is not the big
issue, but how it can strengthen your
marriage. Learn how to fight fairly,
and
how to understand the outlook of your
spouse.
Anger,
Anxiety, And Strong Emotions. Your
brain is part of the problem. More
specifically, your brain when it gets angry
or anxious is the problem. Learn how to
cope with the strong emotions, so that they
bring you together rather than tear you
apart.
Building
A Resilient Marriage. We
will spend some time discussing how to be a
"resilient couple," how to bounce back from
difficulties in life and between the two of
you. Resilient couples will succeed in
marriage, and I can show you how to increase
your Couples Resilience Quotient.
"What
Do I Do Now?"
It
is time to take action! If you are ready
to take action with your marriage, don't
wait.
Don't
let inaction continue a path to somewhere you
don't want to be. Think about what you
want and then make a decision to move in that
direction. Intention leads to
actions. And actions lead to
results. Move your intention to action,
and you are on your way!
I've
heard from several workshop leaders who are
not happy with my pricing! They were upset
with my low price on the original
workshop. Even one "marriage guru"
contacted me, upset with the price he had
heard! He charges $500 for one hour of
consultation! The workshop leaders are
charging anywhere from $800 to $2000 for a
weekend event (3 or 4 hours of workshop!). The
costs for those workshops did not even include
travel
expenses, food, lodging, babysitting, and all
the other expenses of having to go somewhere
for the workshop! No travel costs with my
workshop.
The
full cost for the Transform Your Marriage
Workshop is US$147.00for
the
teleclasses, Q&A, homework, and access to
the Forum.
Your
Workshop Membership: All
Teleclasses, All
Q&A Sessions,
Daily Homework and
Forum Access is
only $147.00.
Yes,
Lee, I am ready to
transform my
marriage! I
am joining the
workshop today!
Easy
Way to Join:
By
PayPal, you can
use credit cards
or your bank
account (you don't
need a PayPal
account to use
PayPal).
I
look forward to "seeing" you at the
workshop! Remember, with the design of
this workshop, you can "Time-Shift" the whole
process. Teleclasses are recorded as
mp3's, and will be available for download,
homework can be completed when it is
convenient for you. You can take the
workshop when it is convenient for
YOU. You can take control of the process.
Don't
wait to get started. Let me be the
"cheerleader" and say YOU CAN DO IT! But do it
now!
Put
a circle one month from now on your
calendar. By then, if you follow our time
line, you will have transformed your
marriage! You will have taken action, and
the biggest effort will be behind
you. Picture the future, and you in the
relationship you have dreamed of! Picture
a lifetime together in a relationship you
cherish. Now take action to make that a
reality.
Best
wishes.
Faithfully,
Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
P.S.: Don't
wait for another message to move
you! Take action. I promise you
won't regret it. Click below to Transform
Your Marriage.
P.P.S: OK,
let me make it even easier! I'm going to
guarantee this workshop. You can get a
FULL REFUND on your purchase. The only
requirement: that you complete the
workshop and make a good-faith effort to
implement all the strategies and
ideas. If
you do so, but still don't see any
transformation in your relationship, then you
can contact me for a full refund.
You
have up to 8 weeks to make a request for a
refund, so you have plenty of time to work
through the workshop and really give it a
try. If you promise to really use the
workshop, I promise to make the refund.
In
other words, there is ZERO risk to
you! If it works, you see an improvement
in your marriage. If it doesn't work, you
get your money back. It doesn't get much
better than that! I would say "take a
chance," but you aren't even having to take a
chance. So, take action!
Lee
H. Baucom, Ph.D.
4949 Brownsboro Road, Suite 147
Louisville, Kentucky 40222
United States of America 502-802-4823
Lee(at)TransformYourMarriage.com